your inconsitancy

is making me want to go back to sleep. it's kind of hurtful in a way I can't explain. please just tell me what it is that you want. or anything at all.

because alex likes to keep up with these things, but is apparently too busy to just talk to me about them :-P

we went to the movies and saw Arthur. which was hillarious

I know this, despite spending half the movie having more than minor heart attacks trying to work up the courage to hold her hand (which she had almost convienently placed right on the other side of the armrest from me...just an inch of still awkward). literally it was like "okay, I'm gonna do it....oh crap my heart just got reallllllly friggin loud, can she hear that?"

but um...when I finally stopped hyperventilating and covering it up with laughter, and I did hold her hand, (to use a patented ryan and muffin phrase) everything was suddenly in HD. there were literal physical changed to the world

dinner? amazing. we talked about things you can't really talk about, you know, the things that really matter and not the things you think people will be okay with hearing. it's nice to not have to pretend.

on the way home she texted me to make sure I had fun, I thanked her profusely.
she said she was a little surprised there was no kiss

(woman you just shifted the entire universe by holding my hand  are you trying to kill me?!?)

I told her I like that we're taking things slow and I get time to savor every single step and let it linger just a little, something I had never really gotten the chance to do before with anyone I cared enough about to actually DO IT.

she said maybe friday then. then I died. the end.

i remember feeling so alone for far too long and thinking "to have to wait this long and go through so much, she better be worth it"

If I had to wait another 20 years, she still would be worth every second :-)

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I love you more than God loves killing isrealites

Haha when anyone tells me they don't understand how I could love someone so deeply, I tell them that when I asked how much you loved me, that was your response. It was perfect. That is still how I remember you. Perfect.

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oh wifey

or should I say wifey's? epic threesome, summer here we come. plans are rolling like nobody's business. prom sleepovers and drunking beach lounging and salvia exploration and risque peircings and all the epic we can stand. I cannot be happier than this, this right here.

"everyone will leave you if you give them the chance, but the ones who really matter will always come back"

A date?!!?

Talking about what you want for our first kiss, smiling at me like looking at me makes you smile, all the sweet things you text me when we can't talk face to face...hm.

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and this part has a SICK drum beat

I can't imagine you in
black and white
the colors just too mixed for
casual light
and if I cross the road
just give me a chance
if I can make it rain
just give me one dance
if the wind blows all my
words away
read my lips and
taste what I say